Soup Opera
by XXXmidnitegoffXXX
Summary: I attempt something really stupid. With week-daily updates, you'll get more than you bargained for. Pirates, robots, time-travel, and Samurai; this fanfic has 'em all. Suitable for kids.
1. Episode 1 October 17, 2012

Episode One; October 17, 2012

"There's going to be a new kid coming today," announced Professor Gonagall to the class. Everyone whispered amongst each self on who this kid could be. "You are to be nice to this kid. Do you understand?"

"Yes," replied the students obediently.

Scorpius Malfoy scoffed. "I bet he's going to be a puny little tyke. I'll make sure he's in his place."

"Don't be so mean," Rose said as she overheard their conversation.

"I don't take orders from a child of a mud-blood," Scorpius said shapely. Eventually that smirk would be put off his face. "I bet it's some mud-blood. Yet another kid, to face my fist, learning their place in this school. Why Hogwarts keeps chucking these kids in is a mystery."

"You talk as if you own this place," said Rose.

"My father is head of the school board," Scorpius corrected her. The tone of his voice was as if he had explained this before. "He can choose and fire however he wishes. But those damn wizard rights stops him from kicking out punks like you."

Suddenly out of nowhere came a troll, knocking down the door and waving its club at everyone. Rose, her brother Hugo and friend James Potter leaped to their feet.


	2. Episode 2 October 18, 2012

Episode Two; October 18, 2012

Rose and her friend took out their wands. They pointed their wands at the troll who was yelling so loud that its saliva was spitting into their face. Scorpius Malfoy was hiding in the corner like a little coward.

"Get it out of here," he screamed.

The professor was escorting over students out so that they didn't get in the way. James wiped his face to get remove the slobber from his face.

"We better get onto this," he said.

"Yeah," replied Rose, "before this thing does more damages. Trolls are annoying."

By this point Scorpius Malfoy had enough of hiding in the corner that he attempted to make a dash for it across the room. The troll got to him first, whacking its club over Scorpius Malfoy's head which knocked the boy out.

"Sometimes troll do get it right," laughed Rose before holding her wand up.

"_Lux trabem_," they said as a group. A beam of light came out of their wand. It hit the troll and knocked it over. "_Saxum_," they continued their spells. A boulder came down from the roof knocking onto the troll's head.

"All in a day's job," concluded Rose.

As she said that Dumbledore rushed into the room. "Come quickly," he said, "pirates have invaded Hogwarts."


	3. Episode 3 October 19, 2012

(AN: Some people are saying I'm a troll. I have a troll in my story and I find internet trolls annoying but I'm not a troll. I'm not the best at writing but I'm trying my best. I'll try and write longer chapters but it's hard when you're updating every day)

Episode Three; October 19, 2012

The captain of the ship marched back and forth in the main hall of Hogwarts. His wooden leg slammed onto the floor which each step creating a thumping nose. His long beard was almost as long as Dumbledore but blacker. Rumor was he dyed it black.

"Aye me matey," he said. He was examining the students his crew were able to gather at quick notice. "A pirate life is nice, aye. You got to find treasure, aye. It's pretty cool, aye."

"Aye," said one of the other pirates in agreement. The kids looked scared. They nodded their heads in agreement.

"Then come with me, aye matey," he offered them. Again they nodded, too scared to do anything else.

"Free rum too, aye," said the same pirate.

"Aye," replied the captain, "but rums for grownups. These kiddies will be drinking a bit of wizard lemonade. Fine brew me thinks. Better than that green tea sips."

"Aye, yes, yes, yes," said the pirate as he nodded his head.

"Now let's show these kiddies how we're getting back on the ship, aye," said the captain. The twinkle in his eyes told the students that something sinister was about to arise. "Bring me cannon. It's blasting time me matey, aye!"

"Aye," replied the pirate. He had quickly come back with a cannon ball. "In you go kiddies."

"Aye," the kids said nervously.

"Aye," said the captain.


	4. Episode 4 October 22, 2012

(AN: Can't wait for tomorrow. New Green Day song! No longer must I be tempted to jack it from the internet. I can buy it legally from iTunes. Yippee!)

Episode Four; October 22, 2012

Rose and her friends rushed into the hall. The windows were all smashed on the right side of the hall and covered across the room were cannons which were large enough to contain people in them. Near the closest cannon was a letter. Rose picked it up to read the note.

"DEAR FRIENDS," she read, "YOUR FELLOW FRIENDS HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED. DON'T COME AFTER US SINCE WE'LL MAKE YOU PAY!"

"That doesn't sound good," James commented.

"That doesn't sound good at all," Rose corrected him, "we're too late."

"Hey, what about this," said Hugo. He had walked across the room towards the main table where the teacher sat during school assembly. He was holding up what looked to be a map. "This looks like a map."

"I think it's a treasure map," Rose said. "Most pirates have them."

"Where does the map direct us?" asked James.

"I think it is in the Caribbean," Hugo answered.

"I think we should use the port-key to fast travel to the wizard and witch community over there. We'll hire a boat and buy a crew. We'll sail to the treasure first before the pirates get there and we'll ambush them there. Once we're successful with the ambush we can release our kidnapped fellow students," Rose explained.

They found the port-key which was an Anchor. The hold on to it and everything zoomed about them as they travelled. They arrived at the sea-side town full of witches and wizards but the town was being attacked by a red-back dragon.


	5. Episode 5 October 23, 2012

(AN: The new Green Day single's been out since Monday last week. I could have downloaded it a week ago. I feel so crappy and annoyed at that at the moment. I hate my life)

Episode Five; October 23, 2012

While Rose and her friends dealt with the dragon, James Potter's younger brother Albus was with his kidnapped friends on the pirate ship. The vessel was flying through the sky, with its canvas wings flapping, keeping it in the air.

"We have to fight back," said Taylor, a friend of Albus. They were in lower rooms on the ship, locked up so they couldn't get out.

"We wouldn't stand a chance," Albus said. "We're outnumbered by one to ten."

"What if we were trickery? It worked for the Americans," Taylor asked.

"They're too clever," Albus responded.

"The captain seemed dump. I'm sure we can play with his head," Taylor planned.

"He might be stupid but some second in command isn't," Albus corrected. "Haven't you seen him scan the deck? He's like an eagle. The captain mightn't notice but he will."

"What if we took him out?" asked Taylor.

"That other crew members would blame us,"Albus explained. "They're not stupid enough to notice their second in command dead."

"So what do you think we should do?" Taylor asked.

"I think we should bide our time," said Albus. "It's for certain my oldest brother and his friends will ambush these felony thugs. They'll be waiting where the treasure is. Once they attack we'll make our move."

Suddenly the second in command came rushing down towards the cell. He was screaming and he sound like he was in pain. The noise of his agony was excruciating to hear.

"We are being attack! God save us all!" he yelled manically.

(AN: I can't wait for Dos to come out. I hate waiting. Why didn't Green Day release their new albums as a double album? I would have had all their new music by now. Please cheer me up and read my other story. Its deals with a serious issue: drugs)


	6. Episode 6 October 24, 2012

Episode Six; October 24, 2012

Rose and her friends came face to face with the dragon. The fiery beast flew across the buildings breathing out flames. The flames made the houses catch alight.

"I wonder what happened?" asked Hugo. Some local ran up to him.

"Some foolish kid stole the dragon's treasure. Now the dragon wants revenge," explained the local.

"That makes sense," Rose said. "We better help you then."

"Why should we help them?" James asked. "They got what they deserve."

"Why's that?" Rose interrogated him.

"Because stealing is wrong," he answered.

"Have you ever wondered if they had to steal for a good cause?" corrected her. "The thief's family might've been starving. Did you ever think about that?

"No," he stood corrected.

"Now what are we waiting for," she said. "Let's rescue this village before it's too late."

"You have to use the boat over there," the local said.

He pointed to the small rowing boat. Before they could get close, the dragon flew over and spat out a ball fire. The flame hit the boat and blasted it out of the water.


	7. Episode 7 October 25, 2012

(AN: One week to go before Assassin's Creed III comes out! I'm so excited! Maybe I should write an Assassin's Creed fanfic? It'll most likely based on an original assassin I've create. I like the idea of basing it during the Rome Empire. I could base it in England. I've always wanted to go to England. I better shut up and get on with this chapter)

Episode Seven; October 25, 2012

As the second-on-command screamed, a man came downstairs. He took out his gun and shot the second-in-command dead. He then pointed the gun at Albus and Taylor. They pleaded to him to stop but he ignored them. Albus noticed a tattoo on the man's neck. He was a death-eater.

"I thought the ministry got rid of you guys?" Albus asked the man.

"We were gone but now we have returned," he said. "Now you must pay."

He pointed his gun at Albus and his friend. They started crying. They made sure the evil man knew that he was doing wrong. Sadly nothing was working.

Suddenly a man flew into the room on a broomstick. The evil man panic and tried to get away but the man did a death spell. The death-eater fell flat onto its face. It was the lack of air that killed it.

They finally got to see the face of the man that had rescued them. It was the pirate captain.

(AN: I really love Green Day's new song. I can't get it out of my head)


	8. Episode 8 October 26, 2012

Episode Eight; October 26, 2012

"How are we going to cross now?" James asked.

"Magic silly," corrected Rose. "We are witches and wizards. We can make ourselves a boat."

"That sounds really easy," said Hugo.

"All you have to say is _navi fac_together and the boat is made. That's why you should listen during class. You could learn something you know," Rose said.

"OK," said James. "All together now..."

"N_avi fac!_" they said.

Suddenly a small rowing boat was made. They paddled to the other island where the dragon was burning down huts. They took out their wants and pointed it at the dragon.

"We need a froth spell," said Rose.

"I know!" said Hugo. "What about _spuma glacies_."

_"Spuma glacies_." they said together.

A spelt shooted its way to the dragon and hitting it in the stomach. Only one spell was needed and the dragon was frozen solid. Everyone in the village cheered.

"Thank you for saving us," the locals said.

They gave them all sorts of gifts and a way to say thank you. They then had a big feast where they ate lots of food and drank lots of wine. It was tradition for even kids to drink alcohol. Because it was magical they didn't get drunk.

(AN: I wished my life was as great as these kids. I hate myself and I want to die. I really hate my life at the moment. I wished more people would read my story and give me good reviews)


	9. Episode 9 October 29, 2012

(AN: I feel so happy again. Green Day's new album's been released forward. Yay!)

Episode Nine; October 29, 2012

"Oh my God," James said breathlessly. "Why did you save us?"

"It is a very simple explanation," replied the captain.

"What is it?" the two friends said.

Before the captain could reply, a cannon ball shot into the room knocking the captain over. Enter into the room was some very evil looking mad. He had red eyes and his noise looked like it had Botox.

"My name is Voldemort the Second and I'm here to kill you!" he yelled angrily.

"Please don't kill me," the captain said. "Not in front of my son Taylor."

Taylor grasped.

"You are my father?"

"Yes son," the captain answered. "I am your father."

"Then better reason to kill you," said Voldemort the Second.

Voldemort took out a sword and stabbed it into the captain's heart. He then moved towards the two friends. He took out his gun and pointed it at the two friends. They pleaded for him to not kill them but he wouldn't listen.

"You must die," he said.

Suddenly the ship bumped and threw Voldemort the Second out of the ship through the hole created by the cannon.

"I'm going to revenge my father," said Taylor.


	10. Episode 10 November 1, 2012

(AN: Damn I missed two days. You're in for a treat. To make up for my screw up, you'll be getting three episodes instead of one)

Episode Ten; November 1, 2012

Because Rose's mother was really rich (she had written a book about her fight with Voldemort), Rose paid for a boat and crew. They sailed out first thing the next day. The first three days were boring, but the four they were attacked.

"We're being attacked," the captain said.

"What are we going to do?" Rose asked.

"We'll fight back," replied him.

"Yay," Rose said, "it's about time I practises some of my new spells."

"Thank you for helping us out."

"_Vulgus bombardis_," said Rose.

Magic cannons appeared on the side the ship. Cannon ball after cannon ball was shot out to the enemy ship. The other ship didn't have a witches or wizards so their ship sunk and they died.

"We destroyed the enemy ship," said Rose.

"Come on! We need to celebrate," said Hugo.

He found some grog and poured it out for the rest of the crew. They all got drunk and very marry. It lifted the spirits of the crew and they sailed faster than they did before.

(AN: If everyone thinks Rose's such a Mary Sue, tell me and I'll kill her off. I'll make sure it's extra special too)


	11. Episode 11 November 1, 2012

(AN: Me again. I hope you missed me)

Episode Eleven; November 1, 2012

"Does anyone know how fly this thing?" Albus asked the crew.

"I do," said one of them.

They flew across the sky. From behind was Voldemort the Second who was slowly catching up on them.

"Can you flew this boat any faster," Albus asked.

"What do you think?" the crew member said. Albus stayed silent after that.

Worryingly, Voldemort the Second was getting closer every time Albus turned around to see him. Voldemort the Second had an angry face and it wasn't going to be long for him to get on-board.

"How does someone fly that fast on a broom?" asked Albus. "Not even my father could do that."

Suddenly, Voldemort got on-board. He looked really angry this time. Albus felt really scared and he wished he could do something else like hang out with his friend. But he knew he had something more important to do.

"Leave us alone," he said.

"Not until all of you're dead!" Voldemort said evilly.

"Well I'm not letting you do that," Albus said. He took out his wand and said: "_Exeas!_"

A rush of wind came from his wand. The gush of wind was so powerful that it knocked Voldemort the Second back and off the pirate ship.

"I'll get my revenge," he screamed as he fell to the earth.

"Time to claim the treasure," Albus said.

(AN: the third episode'll be posted sometime later today… unless I get distracted… again)


	12. Episode 12 November 2, 2012

(AN: I lied. You're getting two chapters today instead)

Episode Twelve; November 2, 2012

James piloted the ship (after using a Time Turner to go back in time to learn how to sail a ship and then back to the present to help them) towards the mysterious island. There was a gigantic cave where they sail into. Their ship was only little so it went through gaps easily.

"The treasure should be in here somewhere," said Hugo.

He was at the front of the ship scouting out for any signs of treasure. He had really good eyes. James however didn't. He was Harry Potter's son so he had crappy eyesight.

"Keep looking," said James.

"That's what I'm trying to do," Hugo replied.

"Try harder," James said.

"How hard do you want it to be?" Hugo screamed unstably.

"As hard as you can make it," replied James.

"Ok," said Hugo.

Suddenly in the distance came a boat. On the boat was an army of angry looking trolls. They had big clubs. Hugo was scared they'd use their big clubs to kill him. James knew he'd something important to do.

"These are the relatives of the troll we killed back at Hogwarts!" he said.

(AN: Is anyone reading this? Please tell me or else I'm writing this for no reason!)


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